Top five tips to put the pleasure back into sex

When most people think about sexual health, they tend to think about STIs like chlamydia or gonorrhoea – but sexual health isn’t just about the absence of disease.

In fact, according to the World Health Organisation’s official working definition, it’s also about having a positive and respectful approach to sex and having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences.

That broad definition of sexual health is entirely apt this year, as Sexual Health Week 2015 is focused on sexual pleasure and wellbeing.

Organised by the Family Planning Association (FPA), Sexual Health Week is an annual awareness event that has been run since 1997 in order to give everyone in the UK information, advice and support on sexual health, sex and relationships.

Putting the pleasure back into sex

Sexual pleasure is an issue that Dr Lyndsey Myskow, who leads our sexual health and gender clinic at our private health practice in Edinburgh, knows more than most about.

Dr Myskow, who has been a sex therapist for more than 30 years, is one of Scotland’s leading experts in the field. So who better to ask for their top five tips for improving your sex life and putting the pleasure back into sex?

Be open and honest with your partner

Sex is an important part of a couple’s life, and whether it’s good or not good, or frequent or less so, we often feel embarrassed speaking about it – even with our partners.

The first thing you need to do is open up and chat about what you expect sexually from each other. If you don’t like the way your partner does something, or you don’t like a particular sexual position, be honest. It won’t just improve your sex life – it’ll improve your relationship too.

Understand each others’ needs – and compromise

When you and your partner both know what turns each other on in the bedroom, it’s safe to say you’re going to enjoy sex more. So make sure you ask them what they like and what they don’t like. But don’t forget to compromise – sex should never be about just one person getting everything they want.

Spend some quality time together

We know life is hectic nowadays. Trying to juggle your work with your personal life is hard enough, never mind having to think about sex too. But no matter how busy you are, it’s important to spend some quality alone time with your partner.

Whether it’s going for a romantic meal or going to the cinema, or simply getting out the house for a little while, these moments can reignite the spark and help turn your relationship around.

Try something new

This might be an obvious one, but when it comes to the bedroom, don’t be afraid to try new things. When couples are together for a long time, sex can understandably lose its sparkle, so why not set some time aside for experimentation?

This could be as simple as mixing up how, when or where you usually have sex, or something a little more adventurous like using sex toys or exploring your secret sexual fantasies.

Don’t ignore problems

Because people are often so embarrassed to talk about sex, a lot of potentially serious problems can get swept under the carpet. For example, erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation are just two common conditions that can affect people’s sex lives.

Don’t despair though – Dr Myskow is an acknowledged authority in this field and has helped many people who have suffered from these conditions return to a fulfilling sex life.

Sexual health and relationship services at YourGP, Edinburgh

If you follow these five tips, we’re confident that you’ll improve your sex life and put the pleasure back into sex.

But we know every relationship is different – and we know many relationships go through serious periods of stress or crisis. That’s why we offer individual and couple counselling at our private health practice in Edinburgh.

Dr Myskow takes a caring and conscientious approach to her work, and she has helped many people turn their relationships around and emerge stronger both as individuals and as a couple.

“One of the aspects of this part of my work that makes me especially pleased is when I have been able to help my patients become happy and confident,” she says.

“It is wonderful when patients are able to enjoy their sex life when they have previously been miserable and beset with sexual problems.”

With YourGP, you’ll benefit from:

• A relaxed environment
• Complete anonymity
• Short-notice appointments at a time to suit you
• Fast test results and effective treatments
• A friendly and non-judgemental atmosphere in which to work through problems
• Appointments as a couple and/or individually

If you want to speak to Dr Myskow about sexual health, relationships or improving your sex life, you can arrange an appointment by using our online booking form, emailing our reception team at reception@your.gp or calling us on 0131 225 5656.

If you don’t want to arrange an appointment but have a pressing sexual health question, leave a comment below, or get in touch on Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn.

Image courtesy of Bryan Brenneman under CC BY 2.0